BOOZY Watermelon Agua Fresca

I have described it as my "summer cocktail spirit animal" and it might be yours too. What is more "summer" than watermelon?? The answer: nothing. Bienvendio a la Adult Watermelon Agua Fresca!

We are meal planners. We like to stretch dollars and know what to buy for the week so we're not wandering around the grocery like idiots, spending god knows how much on things that distract our attention. I usually go during the day, buy everything I can at Trader Joe's and buy the remainder of our items at Whole Foods. Yes, the 4 or 5 items at Whole Food are almost as much as my entire bill at Trader Joe's, thanks for asking.

If I make it through another week of grocery shopping I usually buy myself two treats at WF:
1. a tiny thing of mixed Greek olives from the olive bar
2. A watermelon juice drink

Both treats are devoured on the drive home as we are not WF/TJ-adjacent.

The juice drink runs like $5 for 12 or so ounces of juice. FIVE DOLLARS!!! I keep thinking 'you know, this shit can't be too hard to make...it's what? watermelon and agave or something??' so this week, when I went to this magical place called Larry's Produce in Suisun City and found a giant melon for $5, I decided to give it a go.

Let me tell you this: it was a piece of cake to make. First, I made the fresca. I did not add even an ounce of sweetener as the ripe melon required none of that nonsense. If it were out of season I'd recommend adding a tablespoon of honey or agave per blended pitcher.

To make the fresca:
- cut the melon up into chunks
- Fill your blender and then add a cup of cold water and blend
- Then, use cheesecloth or a colander or whatever you've got to filter the junk out of the melon-water.
If you have a large watermelon you might need to do this a few times (fill blender with melon, add a cup-o-water, blend, filter).

Once the juice is made, this drink comes together quickly.

Recipe:
In a cocktail shaker, put:
1 jigger of vodka (use the good stuff, people)
several ounces of watermelon juice, depending on how strong you take your cocktails
1 Tbs ginger syrup
4 ice cubes

Shake it, shake it, shake it.

Pour in a glass and maybe add a splash of lime.

Holy. Crap. It's really good. The kinda cocktail that really sneaks up on you!

Frozen Smoothies to Cool Your Face Off

It's getting hot up here and not like desert-hot, like humid, my-thighs-will-surely-start-a-fire hot. It's lovely and cool in the mornings and evenings but right around 3pm you are praying for something to cool you off. Well, here it is!

This recipe is adapted from a new cookbook designed by the Native Foods people. Side note: I cannot believe there isn't a Native Foods up here. I did a quick search and saw an article about how one was slated to open up here but I'm telling you, if it was here, I would know. East Bay is begging for a Native Foods Cafe, trust me. Maybe even Napa. Just sayin'. If you know the business development person for Native Foods, give them my digits. We need one in Northern CA! [still refusing to say NorCal or hella, fyi].

If you're panicked about finding exotic vegan ingredients, I guarantee you can find these things at any grocery store or heck, even Target. And you don't need a fancy food processor or juicer or some confounded contraption more complex than a blender. You need a blender and some simple ingredients and you'll be well on your way to delicious!

The first time I made them I added raspberries but the second round was just pineapple, banana and coconut and it was just as good, maybe better. I'd totally encourage you to try different ratios to find the right sweetness/fruit ratio for you.

Ingredients:
- 13.5oz can of coconut milk (I use unsweetened)
- 1 banana
- 3Tbs agave nectar (I used honey)
- 1-2c pineapple
- 1.5Tbs vanilla extract
- 1.5 Tbs shredded coconut

Blend it and freeze it!

If you have Popsicle molds, awesome! If not, you can find them on the cheap at discount store like TJ Maxx, Ross and Marshalls. I got one 6-pop set for $6.99 and its dishwasher safe, which is awesome. You can also use ice molds.

Fabric Garland

I made this little ditty after seeing something similar on Craftgawker.

Lately I have this affinity (OK, obsession) with party decor. It's all I've been buying at thrift stores and it's all I've been crafting. I think with the [insufferable] job all my little heart wanted to do was throw a party, get some glitter going, toast a friend and make it through. My heart feels lighter now and you can tell the stress has left my face. Belly laughs are back.

You could make this with any color theme. 4th of July would be a great opportunity to make one. I bought a bunch of fat quarters years ago thinking I'd make some funky yo-yo necklaces but after making one which took me FOREVER, I packed that fabric up and let it sit. Until now!

Here's the link to the tutorial I followed:
http://cleverthursday.com/2014/02/diy-scrap-fabric-garland-tutorial/

My two cents on making this:
- you can make one this big in about an hour - 30 minutes for making the fabric strips and 30 minutes for tying the knots
- you can cut or rip the strips
- pick a ribbon that's really thick. The one I chose was a different color palette and I think it actually worked out well since it's mostly covered by the fabric and it anchors the banner to the room. It's the Martha Stewart super-thick yarn found at Tuesday Morning
- you can make this as short or long as you like; you can make the fabric lengths longer or shorter - it's totally customizable

Shortbread for ALL

Simple, elegant, delicious 

You had no idea you were 5 ingredient away from a totally amazing dessert, did you? Butter, flour, vanilla extract, and powdered sugar are the base for an infinitely versatile dessert. You can top it with nothing, with granulated sugar, with jam, with berries...etc etc x infinity.

The recipe is from Martha Stewart but I've taken the liberty to copy and paste the recipe and ingredients here for you.

INGREDIENTS

• Nonstick cooking spray
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter (You can use vegan earth balance or regular butter if you're not interested in it being vegan)
• 3/4 cup confectioners' sugar, sifted (I never sift it)
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 2 cups cake flour (not self-rising), sifted (Ditto here - sifting is for overachievers)
• 2 tablespoons coarse sanding sugar

DIRECTIONS

1. STEP 1

   Spray a 9-inch fluted tart pan with a removable bottom with nonstick cooking spray; set aside.

2. STEP 2

   In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together butter and sugar. Stir in vanilla. With mixer on low speed, slowly add flour. Mix until well combined.

3. STEP 3

   Evenly spread cookie dough into prepared tart pan. Refrigerate until firm, at least 2 hours and up to overnight.

4. STEP 4

   Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Sprinkle shortbread with sanding sugar (or not). Using a 2-inch round fluted cookie cutter, make a shallow cut in the center of the dough. Using the tines of a fork, score dough from the edge of the circle in the center toward the edge of the pan into 12 equal wedges.

5. STEP 5

   Transfer tart pan to oven and bake until light brown and a toothpick inserted into the center of the shortbread comes out clean, 50 to 60 minutes (I honestly think this is WAAAAY too long to cook it; we cook it 30-40 and it's perfect). Immediately re-score circle and wedges with cookie cutter and the tines of a fork. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool 1 hour. Remove shortbread from tart pan and let cool completely. Cut into wedges with a serrated knife along the scored lines.

VEGAN CINNAMON ROLLS

Don't wait to make these. Make them tonight. Right now. Make them yesterday.

OK, you can wait but I would encourage you to make them soon as they are delectable.

The recipe is from Minimalist Baker. Click this link for the recipe and a full set of really helpful photos.

I made the dough the night before, let it rise for a few hours and then covered it with plastic and let it hang in the fridge overnight. In the morning, it sat on the counter for an hour or so before being rolled and sprinkled and baked. I also used a little less butter when coating the rectangle of dough and brushing the tops of the rolls once lovingly placed in the dish to be baked.

The second best part: I thought the recipe was incredibly easy to follow.

A former coworker was invited to test and declared: "WOW! They do not taste vegan at all!" I totally understand that sentiment. I eat a lot of vegan food and sometimes stuff "tastes vegan" to me too. But not these. No vegan handicap here! I'm guessing that's why The Minimalist Baker called them "Easy Cinnamon Rolls" and not "Vegan Cinnamon Rolls."

Vegan Chicken Salad

I'm not posting a picture of this: you're welcome.

This recipe tastes yummy but it looks, let's just say it, like a little bit of barf. But you're not going to look at it, you're going to eat it so don't sweat how it looks! Perhaps this is more of a cleaning-out-your-cupboard recipe than an entertaining-your-cosmopolitan-friends recipe.

The good news is that this concoction has lots of protein. It's versatile - you can put it on bread or pair it with crackers or scoop it on a salad and chances are these are things you already have in your cupboard.

1 can of garbanzo beans (I like Trader Joe's organic)
2 Tbs vegenaise - or less if you like it a little chunkier
1-2 Tbs of Dijon mustard
about 6 Bubbies bread & butter pickles chopped
- you can add chopped celery

I used a potato masher to smooooosh it all together and then got some Trader Joe's Multigrain crackers it in ASAP.

Apricot Jam

Before I took a canning class with Delilah, of Patchwork fame, I never realized how easy it was to make jam. Easy. It's pretty much just a loving marriage of sugar and fruit and it's helped me learn about the magic of patience.

The two main things you need to know: use good fruit that's really ripe and the jam will tell you when it's ready - you can't rush it.

This is Delilah's recipe. I could only glean 4c worth of apricots so I halved it. Another magical facet of these recipes is that they are easily, easily malleable to fit your ingredients. I also didn't have 6 cups of regular sugar so I mixed Trader Joe's organic sugar and the super nubby horrible-to-dissolve-in-cold-drinks sugar we had to squeeeeeze together 3 cups of sugar. I'm trying to be thrifty since ye old separation from the job and making my own stuff is thrifty and exceedingly rewarding.

Here's what you need:
8c apricots
4c sugar
1/4c lemon juice

Put it all in a non-reactive pot until it gets mushy - it takes about 30 minutes but you just gotta feeeeel your way around the jam. It looks runny until it doesn't look runny anymore. I know that sounds elusive, but when you cook it, you'll know what I mean.

Set it on the counter in the little jars and let it hang out until it's cool enough to put the tops on.

I like to put them in the fridge to make it a nice cool complement to whatever you smear it on. In my house, that's a hot biscuit.

Thanks Delilah for letting me post your delicious recipe!